Where in the mom manual?

Where in the mom manual did it say that at times life would be crazy hectic out of control, and in the blink of an eye (bedtime usually) your life can become so boring and just calm?  Where in the mom manual did it say when one has a fever, get your blankets and huddle up, bc there is about to be a storm of sickness brewing in your home for everyone?  Where in the mom manual did it say you will go from being someone who only needs to take care of yourself to a servant for all those around you?  Where in the mom manual did it say, you are never going to be able to go to the bathroom alone again?  Where in the mom manual did it say, that your bedroom would become this mysterious room that makes their imaginations run wild when just looking at it?  Where in the mom manual did it say that daddy's don't do all nights, not baby all nights anyways?  Where in the mom manual did it say that at times going a couple of days without a shower would just seem normal?  Where in the mom manual did it say, that you should add a flushing device and bigger drain to your bath tub, bc you never know when you might find a surprise number 2 in there?  Where in the mom manual did it say your shins would be a big bruise, bc even though your bed has been in the same spot since you moved in, you still seem to run right into it in the middle of the night feedings?  I could keep going, but where in the mom manual was all of this?  We all have those times when we sit and think, I definitely didn't think this is how it was going to be lol. The what to expect books don't tell you about all of this.  The mom manual should.  The only problem is, the mom manual isn't written until you find all of this out for yourself.  Just some random thoughts